My second round of Student Teaching, during the fall semester of my senior year in college, was in a first grade classroom in Arlington, Massachusetts. The teacher I was assigned to, Miss Palmer, was gracious enough to let me begin working with her from the very first day of the school year, rather than a week later. She wanted me to experience the techniques and joys, as well as the difficulties, of those first few hours with a new class of students.
We stood at the entrance door to the classroom, which opened out onto the courtyard. Several of the kids bounded into the room, visibly excited to be there. All went as I expected, until a young mother approached, with a toddler in one hand and a first grader clinging desperately to her skirt who was refusing to enter the school.
Miss Palmer attempted to gently coax her in, but the child only tightened her grip. Her mother then tried to tenderly pull her away from her, all the while assuring her that she would be fine. She finally did let go, only to grab on tight as she could with both hands to the door jam!
At that point, it took two of us to literally pry her hands from the door and bring her into the room. As the young child stood there sobbing, her mother quickly explained her daughter's fearful response. This was the first time Jan Marie would be away from her mother. She had neither attended pre-school nor kindergarten. (Not required by law at that time.) The poor little thing was absolutely distraught at having to leave her mother and her darling little sister.
We managed to get her seated in one of the desks. And there she stayed, where she eventually cried herself to sleep. She woke after nearly an hour. Though still very unhappy, she did stay in her seat and cooperated with the teacher and I for the remainder of the day.
This pattern went on for two solid weeks - daily prying Jan Marie's hands from the door jam, guiding her to her seat and watching her cry herself to sleep.
And then it stopped.
Jan Marie came bounding into the room on a bright and sunny Monday morning, ready and happy for the school day to begin.
What was the cause of this dramatic change? Looking back, I'm sure there were several influences - making a new friend with a lovely little girl named Amy, getting caught up in the excitement and laughter of the other students, and curiosity about the new things we were all learning together.
And time.
Over the years, I've found not only for the students I taught, but also for my daughters as well as myself, that very often in life things will work themselves out if we just give them the time that they need to do so. Time to adjust or accept or learn.
"Time takes time." It certainly did for Jan Marie.
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